11 Days of May

I paid a price my athletic days afforded
A joke from a former life of triathlons, workouts, and daily affirmations

I am a writer
A liar by definition
The worries seemed to have purpose
The worries built a life most cherish

Late one May afternoon
As I watched a group merrily laughing
They seemed to have purpose
And a life not to be trusted or trod upon

I knew not why they smiled
I was impartial to the inside joke
I was unaware of the causes
That they had laughter and reasons of pure glee

My dreams somehow are filled with bloodshed, warfare, and despair
Dreams filled with regret for humanity and what has been done

I fear the future like a postman fears the growling dog
My indiscretions shall be listed and known
At the time of my death

I sinned at the same time as being praised as a saint
I killed the weak and inherited this mess

My only savior is the lonely hours
When I sacrificed time to nurse the weary back to life

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